found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
