i don't like sucking hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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