he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I need to sanitize my soul.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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