White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
