I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
