If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Randomize
