brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
