My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
