I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
