Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
the raccoons are back...
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