I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
