On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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