what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he thought i was a dude.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
