i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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