Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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