I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
