nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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