Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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