Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's just like the Real World with babies
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
