He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
