yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
