I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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