hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
