I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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