ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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