GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
