Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
