where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
