dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
