I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
