How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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