Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Alive.
So much puke
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
