I think my fart just growled at me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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