He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
