I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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