You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
