remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
