Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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