I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
