insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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