my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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