I have demons in me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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