the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
