im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
