Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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