By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
