EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is the high leading the old right now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
