he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
