There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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