who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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